“No one respects women more than me,” Donald Trump says.
“Wrong!” these 10 men say.
1. The Winter Soldier
He has no memory of ever having said anything misogynist. Bonus: he volunteered to be cryogenically frozen, which Donald Trump has not offered to do.
2. Harry Styles
He makes music lots of women like, and he once took a photo with a supportive hashtag.
3. That One Guy Waiting for the Bus
When you walked past him, he didn’t say anything.
He thinks you should just be yourself (while staying at home, waiting for him, with the friends he likes).
5. Your Uber Driver
He only made you listen to one song off his band’s demo.
6. Lord Voldemort
He didn’t cheat on Bellatrix when she was pregnant.
7. Your Boss
He pays a guy with your same title only four dollars more an hour.
8. Spencer Pratt
We haven’t had to hear much about him lately.
9. Republican Politicians, Briefly
For one weekend, they remembered women can vote.
10. The Demogorgon
He ate Barb, but never threatened to grab her by the pussy.
Lindsay Nieman is the founder of Full-on Monets. You can find her @lindybot on Twitter and Instagram, or at the nearest Subway on her lunch hour. Send her your submissions: firstname.lastname@example.org